Entry tags:
night two - prayer
[ ooc note ; Since this is the first one, I might as well explain! Jason is as religious as your stereotypical Southern (probably Baptist) boy would be, so even though he's not exactly devout, in times of stress, he definitely reaches out by praying, even if his attempts are a little colorful... But as long as he's alive, at least, he'll be praying for the people that died that day. ]
Jesus... I feel like— Fuck, it's like when I shot Eggs all over again. I mean, it ain't like I pulled the trigger or nothin' and killed them, but... Fuck. It just ain't right. Two innocent people died today, so... I gotta at least pray for them. I don't know how many people will, or if anyone's even listenin', but I'm prayin' for them, and I'm prayin' for some help, too. Anyone that wants to give it, God, Jesus, Allah, that lion from Narnia... Anyone that's listenin', I think I could use some of that strength right about now.
But... Fuck, I've never been good at this. I didn't know that girl, Yomoo, or however you pronounce it, but it ain't right to die that way. I'm sorry that she had to be... Fuck, this is so fucked up. How can I just say somethin' like "I'm sorry that she had to be the first one?" Whoever is doin' this, they're goin' straight to Hell, that's for sure, because you can't just play games with people's lives. Even vampires wouldn't do shit like this... But, no, I'm gettin' distracted, sorry. I'm just prayin' that she's in a better place, and I hope... I hope she didn't suffer.
Then Naooye— Sorry, I still can't pronounce your name. Hope you ain't gonna be mad and like... haunt me from beyond the grave or somethin'. Sorry, I shouldn't be makin' jokes about that. It's just... Well, I don't know what you were talkin' about half of the time, Nagoya, and I still don't really know if you were serious about the God alien ghost thing, but you were still just a kid. You said you were in high school, so I'm sorry. I guess we were all tryin' to do the right thing and not vote for anyone, but it still got you killed, so I'm really sorry. It wasn't fair, and I wish we would've known that that shit would've happened if we didn't write anyone's name. I don't know if we would've just killed someone else that was innocent, but... I don't know. I'm just sorry. I'm so sorry, Nagoya.
But I'm gonna ask the Ranger tonight if I can have a shovel so that I can at least bury both of you. I didn't know either one of you really well, I know, but that doesn't mean you don't deserve respect. She might say no, but I'll at least ask. Until last week, it was my job diggin' holes, but I sure as hell didn't think I'd be diggin' graves this week.
...So I guess I'm really sorry, to both of you. I don't know what I could've done, since I ain't that smart. I still don't know what I'm gonna do, since I'm just not cut out to be a detective or nothin'. I'm the kind of cop that busts down doors and saves people, not the kind that thinks about stuff like Andy does. This isn't what I thought bein' a cop was gonna be like. And I hope it isn't, since I don't know if I could handle this kind of shit every day.
But, uh. I guess that's it... So, um, Amen.
Jesus... I feel like— Fuck, it's like when I shot Eggs all over again. I mean, it ain't like I pulled the trigger or nothin' and killed them, but... Fuck. It just ain't right. Two innocent people died today, so... I gotta at least pray for them. I don't know how many people will, or if anyone's even listenin', but I'm prayin' for them, and I'm prayin' for some help, too. Anyone that wants to give it, God, Jesus, Allah, that lion from Narnia... Anyone that's listenin', I think I could use some of that strength right about now.
But... Fuck, I've never been good at this. I didn't know that girl, Yomoo, or however you pronounce it, but it ain't right to die that way. I'm sorry that she had to be... Fuck, this is so fucked up. How can I just say somethin' like "I'm sorry that she had to be the first one?" Whoever is doin' this, they're goin' straight to Hell, that's for sure, because you can't just play games with people's lives. Even vampires wouldn't do shit like this... But, no, I'm gettin' distracted, sorry. I'm just prayin' that she's in a better place, and I hope... I hope she didn't suffer.
Then Naooye— Sorry, I still can't pronounce your name. Hope you ain't gonna be mad and like... haunt me from beyond the grave or somethin'. Sorry, I shouldn't be makin' jokes about that. It's just... Well, I don't know what you were talkin' about half of the time, Nagoya, and I still don't really know if you were serious about the God alien ghost thing, but you were still just a kid. You said you were in high school, so I'm sorry. I guess we were all tryin' to do the right thing and not vote for anyone, but it still got you killed, so I'm really sorry. It wasn't fair, and I wish we would've known that that shit would've happened if we didn't write anyone's name. I don't know if we would've just killed someone else that was innocent, but... I don't know. I'm just sorry. I'm so sorry, Nagoya.
But I'm gonna ask the Ranger tonight if I can have a shovel so that I can at least bury both of you. I didn't know either one of you really well, I know, but that doesn't mean you don't deserve respect. She might say no, but I'll at least ask. Until last week, it was my job diggin' holes, but I sure as hell didn't think I'd be diggin' graves this week.
...So I guess I'm really sorry, to both of you. I don't know what I could've done, since I ain't that smart. I still don't know what I'm gonna do, since I'm just not cut out to be a detective or nothin'. I'm the kind of cop that busts down doors and saves people, not the kind that thinks about stuff like Andy does. This isn't what I thought bein' a cop was gonna be like. And I hope it isn't, since I don't know if I could handle this kind of shit every day.
But, uh. I guess that's it... So, um, Amen.